Long Distance Relationships, & why they never work.

The first two words should answer the question above. I’ve been there (yeah, trust me), and it’s not a walk in the park. There are a bunch of key signs that would pretty much define a long distance relationship. Get ready, this might not agree with your definition, so if it doesn’t, just fuck off eh?

If you’re in a relationship right now, read this. You might be in a long distance one, my friend. Here are some signs. 🙂

  1. You live at least 4 cities apart from him/her.
  2. It takes more than 15 minutes (without traffic) for you to get to his/her house.
  3. You plan your date with him/her weeks before you intend for it to take place.
  4. You see each other not more than twice in a week.
  5. There’s a huge communication gap between you two. (not really a sign. haha)
  6. Your sex life is below average. (depends on what your average is)
  7. You budget 50% of your money for commuting, or gas money.
  8. You’re always the one who goes to his/her place, or at least, a place where it’s easy for you two to meet up.
  9. It’s raining over your place, and the sun is shining over his/her place. Works both ways.
  10. You carry a bag that has at least 3 clothing items, and your not even going to  do anything athletic… so to speak.

Now, not all ten may apply. But if you happen to get at least 4 of them, you are in a long distance relationship. Don’t fret, now, my friend. I’m not saying that the relationship will never work, just ‘coz it’s a long distance one. It might have a chance that it’ll work. No matter how small it is. Yeah yeah yeah, I’m a witness, and sometimes a victim, to some failed long distance relationships. But that shouldn’t stop you from doing what’s right. So here’s a few things to keep in mind. Take notes, grasshoppa.

Sacrifice

A BIG word. A BIG responsibility. It’s when you simply drop everything for that person just to be with him/her. You sacrifice your work, or your studies, or even your relationship with your family and/or friends just to be with him/her. Why is sacrifice such a big thing? Well, you do this because you’re about to accept the consequences ahead unknowingly. Good or bad, every sacrifice is a big thing. It has different effects to every person involved. So please, think before sacrificing (yeah, i’m kind of talking to you greedy ancient warlords).

Give & Take

You can agree that there’s always a Giver & a Taker in a relationship, especially in a long distance relationship. Heck, in a long distance one, there’s an occasional restriction where you can’t be both. So you have to constantly remind yourself, which of these two are you? Personally, i’m a giver. Not a consistent one, but hell, I give more than I take. A little effort here and there, and he/she might notice that he/she should do the same thing.

Assurances

Oh come on, don’t tell me you’ve never lied before? Hahahaha! I’m joking (half-meant, my friends).

The simple ones like: “i’m not going to get drunk don’t worry” & “i’ll be home early I swear”

… are my top favorites, I still drink ’til I drop, and go home early… in the morning. SORRY. 😀

The complex but sugar-coated ones like:

“i’m just out with my friends, no other guys/girls. you know you’re my only one” & “I’ll look but I won’t touch, I swear. It’s just an innocent night out with my friends. Trust me, alright? ‘Coz I trust you.”

… are so caramelized, you wouldn’t even notice the expiration date.

That’s just some of the things I learned with every long distance relationship I’ve ever been in. This is just a public service announcement from a dude who experienced this more than once. Twice. Ok, thrice. Whatever. Hahahahahaha!

DONE.

Dude. Seriously. No.

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About mrjuantamad

Have you been reading my shit? Well, no need to fill this up then.

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