Archive | March 2011

The Death Penalty

Okay, here we go again. Another sensitive topic. Capital Punishment here in the Philippines. I’m writing this because of the recent issue of 3 people arrested in China for drug possession. Hate me for sharing my opinion, I don’t really care. So here we go.

First off, again, I Google‘d most of my research so don’t judge my work. Google is the most comprehensive search engine EVER. And no, Google doesn’t pay me to plug their name in my blog.

So. For a brief history of the Capital Punishment here in the Philippines, I found this very reliable article in Wikipedia. See the trend?

Now here’s the Republic Act No. 9165 for Illegal drugs. I’m pretty sure that death penalty is out of the equation since it was abolished back in 2006.

IMO, those 3 who were caught in China for being drug mules (now executed) should have seen this coming. I’m not sure if it’s right to talk shit about them now that they’re executed, but seriously, if you’re planning on doing something illegal, make sure you’re ready for the consequences. We can’t blame the Chinese government for implementing their laws. Blame those fuckin’ drug lords who just can’t stop trafficking illegal shit.

Who are we to decide who to execute? If you’re proven guilty of an unforgivable crime, then maybe, you should pay for your life. Not be given a second chance of living in prison for a lifetime. You don’t get to have the benefit of having free food in a government facility. But that’s just me.

I feel bad for this guy. He’s the only dude in my 19 years of living here who received the death penalty. Or at least, to be fair, he’s the only guy I remember of having to die by lethal injection. But seriously, he raped his own daughter. So I guess he had it coming, so to speak.

So let’s think about it. How about we bring back the death penalty? Not only we would prevent vigilante justice, we’ll make an example out of those people who just can’t seem to do any right in this world. Religion aside, we all know that those people who committed unforgivable crimes should cease to exist in this world. Take for example, Andal Ampatuan Jr. That douchebag killed a lot of people. And yet he lives. Those 3 who were recently executed in China, pushed drugs. Can you not see the difference?

What the FUCK is wrong with our system?

You figure it out.

Ask yourself. You'll figure it out.

DONE.

Husband-Wife Retaliation

I’m here to talk about a very sensitive issue, that could get me jailed by the authorities, or that could get me a lot of haters, specifically you feminists. Haha. Either way, at least I got this off my head.

We all know the rights for women & children. But my focus here is the physical abuse to women. And men, just to be fair. ūüėČ

According to the Philippine Republic Act No. 9262, most of it describes the law against violence, may it be physical, sexual, or psychological, or all three if that’s your cup of tea, to women and children. It’s a very appropriate law, really.

I found that link for the RA No. 9262 in Google, because I’m a huge believer in the phrase, “When in doubt, Google it out”. So I got curious. Is there a law here in the Philippines for abuse to us men? Answer is, NO. Yeah. And I can prove that.

Here’s the link for my Google search, “Philippine Republic Act on Abuse to Men“.

Yes. I know most men make the mistakes. But what about the women? I’m not asking for a law to be passed right now, but it sure does eliminate the fact that God made men & women equal. Not that we all have the same God, but you get what I mean, right?

Why am I even writing about this? Ha. I got curious, myself. More than that, I just got word from a big bird that a friend of mine and his wife got into a fight. Yes. Rumor has it, the wife threw a lot of punches before he snapped and shoved her away from him. I could’ve used the word “push” but let’s assume the exaggeration, shall we?

So the guy was thrown out of the house for shoving her. Because he got fed up by all the punches she threw. Hmmm. A shove for a bunch of punches. I’m not one to judge, but I think throwing the guy out of the house is a bit harsh, don’t ya think?

Yeah yeah yeah. We have to know the reason why this girl was throwing punches. And we have to know how it started. Again, I’m not one to judge. But I think if the girl started to hurt the guy physically, I’m pretty sure we should get the right to talk about it first. If that doesn’t work, and she still insists on punching you, do a little push. Just a little. But please. Let’s be fair. Equal rights for all, please?

Let's hope this applies to everyone.

DONE.

My Dream Zombie Game

I got to ask my friends about what I should write next, so most of them answered that it should be video game related. I’m not sure if I could write any reviews or previews right now, since my PC isn’t here with me. So I figured I should write about the best video game villain for the last 3-4 years, overtaking the Nazis & Aliens.

Zombies.

Not exactly what I had in mind, since we're talking about video games. But sure.

This is about our dream zombie game. Since we don’t really have the power to tell those game developers about how to make the perfect zombie game, let’s just use our powerful imaginations to create the PERFECT zombie video game.

1st: THE STORYLINE

It shouldn’t be the usual, “OH SHIT! ZOMBIES! GO GRAB SOME GUNS!” kind of storyline. Let’s face it, it’s better if the game is realistic. I could understand where the Resident Evil series is going, (SPOILER ALERT) with Wesker becoming a God-like villain but was recently deceased in RE5, and Chris Redfield punching his way through a freakin’ boulder. But if we’re talking about reality, zombies should be stupid, extremely strong, and slow. And the main characters should be plain humans. As for Dead Rising 2, I can understand that the main character has experience in kicking undead asses. But a little more story about how in the hell he got to think of those makeshift weapons would help a lot. We need reality. Especially if we’re talking about killing zombies in a video game.

My dream storyline would include normal human beings that don’t have ANY experience in firing a live weapon. Shooting a gun requires concentration and extreme dexterity. Even a cop misses, so screw that.

2nd: THE GAMEPLAY

It’ll be an open-world game, with NO shops or stores, with the save-point being the current home-base of the characters, or a temporary camp set-up. Resources will be limited. Let’s face it, once an apocalypse happens, productions will be on a screeching halt. This is game will be a survival game. Oh, and 1 bite or scratch, YOU’RE DEAD. I still have a lot in mind, but I think you’ll get bored listening to my ideas.

3rd: REPLAY VALUE

Sure. Left 4 Dead has awesome replay value since it’s made for 4-8 people. Difficulties vary. But for a single-player game to have an awesome replay value, especially if zombies are directly involved, it should have an open ending. Different actions lead to different endings. Just like Dragon Age: Origins.

4th: VIOLENCE

Ha. Zombies without violence? Are you kidding me? I’m pretty sure if this game is set to be made, we’ll have a problem with the ESRB. Realistic gore is what we gamers want.

Last: GRAPHICS

Hmmm. This is where it gets tricky. Sure, pixelated zombies are good. Next-gen zombies, better. HD quality zombies that can make your LED monitor bleed out, BEST. If I were to produce this game, I’d get the studio that made the Arkham Asylum game. Their visuals were the best I’ve seen so far.

I guess that’s it. So if you do have any ideas in mind, remember, I DO HAVE A COMMENT BOX. ūüôā

Here’s the official announcement of the next zombie game on my radar, Dead Island.

DONE.

I Never Really React This Way

But dear Lord you’re friggin’ ugly! I’m serious! You’re so ugly, I feel compelled to blog about it.

I’m not here to gather up some views for my blog, because I don’t really care about it. I just write what I want to write & I won’t feel bad about it. I seriously JUST WANT to let the world know how ugly you are, because maybe, JUST MAYBE, they’re just being nice to you.

I’m a bad dude for doing this, but there’s nothing wrong about saying the shit I want because that’s what I sincerely feel about your face. I’m not the kind of guy who hides what he feels. But this sure beats my principle of keeping my reactions to a bare minimum (I’m not at my maximum either).

Since I’m trying my best to control my hatred for your face, let’s just do this like David Letterman.

My 10 favorite”your-face-is-so-fuckin’-ugly” jokes & quotes!

  1. If I took a punch for everything wrong with your face, I’d be covered with bruises.
  2. You’re so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies.
  3. You’re so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn’t come back.
  4. You’re so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
  5. Never pick a fight with an¬†ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose!
  6. You’re so ugly, when you walked up to the bartender and said, “Make me a Zombie“, the bartender said, “God beat me to it.”
  7. You’re so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.
  8. You’re so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.
  9. I hate when people say, ” I gotta get my body right for the summer”. And I’m like, WTF are going to do about that face?
  10. God made Coke. God made Pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well. We all make mistakes.

Seriously, you even have the guts to have privacy settings of your Facebook profile set on public. You are the opposite of what you’re trying to represent. Glam, is it? I feel like vomiting right now. And this is not because I was drunk last night.

Ha. Maybe it’s because when you were still a baby, you were dropped while you’re being carried. Hmmmm. No. Actually. I think you were thrown to the wall.

Ohhhh. That sounded a bit harsh. Let me add a ‘lol’ at the end of my sentence. LOL

DONE.

(note: I did intentionally put a link to his/her/its profile for you guys to judge on, if I’m right, or just a plain asshole who is wrong)

So Let’s Talk About Cheaters

Yes. I think I’ve tackled this issue before, but this is just because of all the Facebook notes, polls, and all other shit I’ve seen while trolling around online. I will only write about the things I’ve personally experienced, or the the things I know for sure. So. First off, let’s consult our very good friend, thefreedictionary.com.

Cheat  (cht)

v.cheat·ed, cheat·ing, cheats
v.tr.

1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.
2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.
3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.
4. To elude; escape: cheat death.
v.intr.

1. To act dishonestly; practice fraud.
2. To violate rules deliberately, as in a game: was accused of cheating at cards.
3. Informal To be sexually unfaithful: cheat on a spouse.
4. Baseball To position oneself closer to a certain area than is normal or expected: The shortstop cheated toward second base.
n.

1. An act of cheating; a fraud or swindle.
2. One who cheats; a swindler.
3. A computer application, password, or disallowed technique used to advance to a higher skill level in a computer video game.
4. Law Fraudulent acquisition of another’s property.
5. Botany An annual European species of brome grass (Bromus secalinus) widely naturalized in temperate regions.
Cheaters in video games, IMO, are forgivable, IF and ONLY IF it’s not an online game. Cheat codes are part of the game and is made by the developers itself. I’ve cheated in video games before. That was way back when I was still in my early years. My most recent cheat was, when I used codes to unlock jerseys in NBA 2K11. Online game cheating, however, is very UNFORGIVABLE. Yes. Using of third-party programs like bots & hacks. It disgusts me. The developers didn’t make them. Frustrated programmers did. And by frustrated, I mean, they don’t want to work hard for their characters.¬†Bottom-line¬†is, don’t cheat if you’re online.
Next is, cheating death. Okay, seriously, this is an ironically good thing. Ironic, because it’s bad to tease death. It’s good if you survived. But honestly, don’t try again. 3rd time’s the charm, but death believes in that too. Don’t try your luck, ladies & gents.
Lastly, infidelity. I’m gonna be serious with this one, ‘coz I experienced this more than once. Enough for me to write a trilogy of books. Let’s be serious, why the hell do we cheat on our spouses? I’m not sure if I can answer that because I haven’t cheated, yet, to be fair. I got cheated on more than twice.
Thrice.
Oh shit. I lost count.
Then I saw this poll in Facebook. Who is more likely to cheat? Males or females? It was a very biased poll. Most girls answered “males”, while most men answered “females”. What is the deal, guys & girls?
The funny thing about that poll is, even if the cheaters who voted for their gender counterparts, they wouldn’t admit that they cheated. I mean seriously! If you cheated, you shouldn’t be proud, but you should admit that you did it. Even if it’s just one time.
Nothing beats the truth.
I wonder if this guy does cheaters in video games…
DONE.

Condoms

I wanted to put a wittier title for this blog post, but I guess the simpler the better. I’m still wondering why I’m writing this. 50% boredom, 25% hunger, 10% dazed from just waking up, 5% frustrated.

So. Condoms. Those anti-STD rubbers. Those balloon-like contraceptives. Those flavored rubbers that can be sometimes eaten like a bubblegum (before you start, no, I don’t eat condoms). This is going to sound like an interview between me & me (bear with me, I’m bored).

First question comes to mind is:

Do you use condoms?

– Personally, no.

Why?

– Besides the fact that I don’t like the feeling of the rubber on my penis, I guess I don’t have any legitimate reasons.

Aren’t you afraid to catch any diseases?

– Of course I’m afraid, that’s why I don’t have sex with total strangers. And I try to stay safe as much as possible without having to use condoms.

Have you used one?

– Yeah.

When do you decide on when to use one?

– Hahaha. There are a lot of factors. First is, when it’s the first time between you and someone who isn’t a total stranger, I use one. Or two. 2nd is, when you just feel like using it. 3rd is, and this is just for some people, when they want to control their orgasms. 4th is, if it’s with a total stranger. Lastly, if your girl wants to use one.

Damnit. That’s enough with this “interview”. I’m already laughing at myself for talking to myself.

So anyway, be safe. Stay safe. Even if you’re not wearing a condom. Have monthly, if not weekly, medical check ups. Don’t do drugs, just go out and have sex. I mean it.

Don’t let your condoms end up like these guys.

DONE.

That Awkward Moment

Oh look! A UFO!!… Shit. T’was just a reflection of the friggin’ ceiling light on the window.

Yeah, I’m that bored.

Anyway. I logged in to my Twitter account, which is plainly named “mrjuantamad” (follow me. Or not. I don’t really give a rat’s ass), and trolled around for a bit. I did notice that 40% of the users that I follow are all porn-stars. Not safe for work, my Twitter is. So I kept on reading until I ended up going through Stoya’s Tumblr account, and Mocha Uson‘s (not a porn-star, but a very sexually open chick) web-blog.

Upon reading through Stoya’s first, I noticed that most of her post are interesting. I have to say, I learned a lot about the porn industry just by going through her Tumblr. Plus, that Stoya Destroya Fleshlight is tempting (stopping. I’m really bored, guys & girls, HELP ME!).

Then, onto Mocha’s blog.

Most of her posts were about sex, But what really amazed me is her Condom 101 post. Hahaha! That was interesting. Really interesting. Then I got to read her latest post about GILF‘s. I wasn’t that interested, but then I got to the comments. I was laughing like hell. And I mean LIKE HELL.

I created a scene in my head where a group of sexually frustrated guys gathered up online to flatter, or foolishly flirt, with Mocha. You know that awkward moment when you all realize that you’re just frustrated ‘coz you just can’t do anything about it? I feel that those guys realized that too late.

Mocha scares me, by the way. I’m not a kid, but I’m not an old dude. She scares me. It’s like, if we were friends, she’d eat me alive just ‘coz she can.

DONE.

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