I Never Really React This Way

But dear Lord you’re friggin’ ugly! I’m serious! You’re so ugly, I feel compelled to blog about it.

I’m not here to gather up some views for my blog, because I don’t really care about it. I just write what I want to write & I won’t feel bad about it. I seriously JUST WANT to let the world know how ugly you are, because maybe, JUST MAYBE, they’re just being nice to you.

I’m a bad dude for doing this, but there’s nothing wrong about saying the shit I want because that’s what I sincerely feel about your face. I’m not the kind of guy who hides what he feels. But this sure beats my principle of keeping my reactions to a bare minimum (I’m not at my maximum either).

Since I’m trying my best to control my hatred for your face, let’s just do this like David Letterman.

My 10 favorite”your-face-is-so-fuckin’-ugly” jokes & quotes!

  1. If I took a punch for everything wrong with your face, I’d be covered with bruises.
  2. You’re so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies.
  3. You’re so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn’t come back.
  4. You’re so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
  5. Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose!
  6. You’re so ugly, when you walked up to the bartender and said, “Make me a Zombie“, the bartender said, “God beat me to it.”
  7. You’re so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.
  8. You’re so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.
  9. I hate when people say, ” I gotta get my body right for the summer”. And I’m like, WTF are going to do about that face?
  10. God made Coke. God made Pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well. We all make mistakes.

Seriously, you even have the guts to have privacy settings of your Facebook profile set on public. You are the opposite of what you’re trying to represent. Glam, is it? I feel like vomiting right now. And this is not because I was drunk last night.

Ha. Maybe it’s because when you were still a baby, you were dropped while you’re being carried. Hmmmm. No. Actually. I think you were thrown to the wall.

Ohhhh. That sounded a bit harsh. Let me add a ‘lol’ at the end of my sentence. LOL


(note: I did intentionally put a link to his/her/its profile for you guys to judge on, if I’m right, or just a plain asshole who is wrong)


About mrjuantamad

Have you been reading my shit? Well, no need to fill this up then.

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