The Zones

At this day and age of the Internet, I’m pretty sure you’re more than aware of the different kind of zones that you are in right now with a certain person of the opposite sex. There’s a lot of it, but really, it all comes down to this one big country called the “Friend-zone”.

One of the most obvious signs that you’re fucked.

Wikipedia defines it like this: In popular culture, the “friend zone” refers to a platonic relationship where one person wishes to enter into a romantic relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship.

While the Urban Dictionary defines it like this: A state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a ‘platonic friend’ of an attractive female who he was trying to initiate a romantic relationship. Females have been rumored to arrive in the Friend Zone, but reports are unsubstantiated.

EXAMPLE: 
Girl: “I love you (Insert the poor bastard’s name here,) but I dont want to ruin a great friendship by dating you.”
Guy: “Well why the fuck did I waste two months on you?”
Those simple definitions should be enough for you to think about where you are right now in that person’s life. What are you to them? Why are you in that zone? Did you do something that fucked up your chances? Really, you wouldn’t know the truth even if you ask ’em. Girls would always try to be on the defensive, sugarcoating what they would say to you just to let you down easy. Guys would be straight to the point, but then girls would over-analyze what these guys just said and think of some entirely different meaning to it. Don’t get me wrong, girls would get it right the first time, but they won’t accept the fact that they already got it right so they conjure up a whole new definition for it.

You’re fucked, but not in the way that you’re expecting.

Now let’s get to know this one district in the Friend-zone called the “Bro-zone”.

Our friend, the Urban Dictionary defines it as:

It has been speculated that women do not end up in the friend zone as frequently as men. But where they may end up is in the Bro Zone.Though some consider it a male version of the friend zone; it is widely accepted that the Bro Zone is worse for the poor women stuck in it.In essence it is when a woman is crowned “one of the guys.” She’s considered to be part of the dude pack without the sexual tension. Men behave without restraint around the individual; not worrying about what the woman might think or wether they impress her or not. She is accepted and embraced into the pack as an equal. In short, “she’s a dude.”

Women may end up in the Bro Zone by any of the following: easy going, friendly, social, accepting but also obsession with sports, curses like a sailor, not too attractive, macho like characteristics, butch

Women with mostly male friends are more susceptible to have several Bro Zone’s. Also, most women in the Bro Zone do have a love interest they fail to impress because of the Zone. They end up listening to their love interests’ girlfriend problems and, at times, his sexual encounters. All culminating with him saying “you’re such an awesome friend.

A harsh example.

With that being said, you have to admit that we guys do it too, not as often as women friend-zone us men. But let me tell you this, the Bro Zone has a lot of male residents. And this is just taken purely out of my experience. Let me drop some knowledge.

These girls who put guys in the Bro Zone, they just consider them as “just bros”. Now, Urban Dictionary may think that the Bro Zone is only bad for the women, and it may also think that women would get the bad end of being stuck in it. Not really, if you ask me. Guys eventually see these girls in the Bro Zone as someone really cool, and they might fall for these girls, unless they are exceptionally ugly (just sayin’). Now these girls, when they put a dude in the Bro Zone, that’s it. You can’t do shit, guys. She has already established the fact that you will never be more than a cool brother to her.

The Bro Zone is harsher to us guys than you girls. Why you ask? It’s because no one likes to fuck their brother. Unless you’re into that Game Of Thrones kind of incest, even though you’re not blood related, the thought of it still sucks you in.

Poor bastard.

Final advice:

Show your intentions for how they really are. Don’t act like you’re bro-ing it out with her, then realize that she’s the one. She might put you in the Bro Zone before you know it. And girls, trust me, you have it easier than us men, you just have to accept that fact that you have boobs. Just sayin’.

I was going to talk about the other zones, but these are the two major ones. Read it, learn to like it.

DONE.

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About mrjuantamad

Have you been reading my shit? Well, no need to fill this up then.

One response to “The Zones”

  1. teags says :

    The friend zone is seriously dangerous and can be damaging to a bro’s health. Like smoking, but without the fun.

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