Probably Not Another “How-To”

Here I am, an hour and a half away from 2013, writing about another “How-To” requested by a friend of mine. This would probably suck, but then again, this might help you hopeless perverts-slash-romantics out there.

One thing that’s constant about us young adults is that we sometimes never fail to think about the opposite sex. With young adults, I mean us early twenty-to-thirty people. If you’re 13-16 years old, don’t even consider yourself as a young adult. Yeah sure, you might be a bit more mature than most of the people in my age group, but you’re still not allowed to vote. NOTE: No, I’m not directing this message to anyone.

Anyway, just to help you ladies out, I’ll probably list out some things that you need to keep in mind if you want a guy to go crazy over you. Remember this though, I’m an average guy who’s going to write about a “How-To” for ladies who are kind of bewildered of the fact that a guy is not crazy about ’em. This could work, but you should always assume that the guy you like doesn’t like the quarter of what I’ll list here. So here goes…

  1. Smile at us. Unless of course, you have yellowish buck teeth and blackish gum line. A smile goes a long way for us dudes. You can give us those signals that you like us, but that is a bitch. You’ll end up making us think that you’re just smiling just cause, but no. You know what I mean? Thus, these signals make us crazy. We won’t stop thinking about you.
  2. Play with us. It could be a video game, a card game, a sport, or just plain messing around. Any sort of interaction with us through our favorite hobby is golden. You could always pretend that you like doing it, but you know it’s always plus points for sincerity.
  3. Don’t try too hard. If you like a sporty guy, don’t initiate a conversation about how Kobe got to the 30,000 point mark and mistaking him for a white guy with blonde hair and short shorts. You can always ask us questions about what we are watching. Like, how did Cain Velasquez beat the shit out of Junior Dos Santos. Or how did the Los Angeles Clippers get to a 17 win streak. Like I said, you can always pretend that you’re interested, but sincerity goes a very long way with us. I could easily say that this #3 is the “Don’t be dumb” part of my list, but just hold your horses. I ain’t even done yet.
  4. Don’t be afraid to be stupid with us. By stupid, I mean don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself in front of us. If you suddenly spray out your drink through your nose because you laughed the fuck out of our joke, it’s okay. We made you laugh, and that’s something. Hurting your nostrils is just a bonus. HA HA HA.
  5. Do something sexy but subtle. A slight brush of your hand on our arm, a hug with a kiss on the cheek, leaning of your head on our shoulder because you’re kinda drunk or sleepy, or even just winking at us when we smile back at you when you did the #1 on my list. I find this sexy because the subtlety of this kind of action is too much for us to handle if we somewhat find you attractive.
  6. Don’t do any of this shit if we already rejected you in some way, or gave you an impression that a relationship with you is not on our mind right now. You could probably do #1, but any other item in this list could end up as irritable to us. High five, ladies.

Believe me, ladies, I tried my best to be as objective as possible while writing this. Lucky for me, this did not end up as “Mr. Juan Tamad’s guide if ladies want him to go crazy for them”, ‘coz that’s just bull.

2013 is just 30 minutes away ladies, you think you can make us guys crazy before midnight?

DONE.

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About mrjuantamad

Have you been reading my shit? Well, no need to fill this up then.

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