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It’s 2013 & I’m Not Even Drunk Yet

How sad is it that I’m back in front of my keyboard writing here in my blog again an hour after the fireworks started to light up the sky? Well, I’m scratching one off my New Year’s Resolution list right now. There will be times where I will stop from typing ‘coz there’s not much to say right now, and I call that my own version of a writer’s block. Let’s keep it simple, and just let me talk right now.

I just finished my glass of Vodka+Soda, and I’m itching for seconds because I can already smell the pre-heated Chili Con Carne from the microwave. It’s just a simple celebration here, but I bet we were the loudest. We celebrate New Year’s Eve just like we always did before. Few fireworks, banging the drum set, shooting tin cans using my dad’s pistol, and drinking alcohol (note: alcohol comes after everything else, if you feel like bashing me because I fired a gun).

Since I like making lists, let’s do my New Year’s Resolution. I’ll have to check this shit out again a year from now just so I could keep track of what I hit & missed this 2013. Let’s do this.

  1. Polish my cooking skills through learning the Italian cuisine. I’ve always wanted to improve this ever since I learned how to cook. Plus, whenever I watch Nigella Lawson cook Italian food, I… yeah, use your goddamn imagination.

    Oh God, oh God, oh God!!!

     

  2. Learn how to be decent with a guitar or any instrument, really. I mean, I know the basics with the guitar and drums, but beyond that, I’m shit. This is something I should’ve done back when I was a kid, but it’s never too late to learn. Right?
  3. Get a stable flow of income. Come on, if anyone would like something stable in their lives, it has got to be the flow of their financial income. I want this. I feel like if I have this, I can do virtually anything I want to do with my life.
  4. Drastically improve my athleticism. I would probably fail on achieving this, but it’s worth a try. I honestly don’t know where to start. A healthier diet, or an intense training regimen. I’m a lazy dude, and that has got to stop now… I think.
  5. Learning a whole new different language, and try to be fluent with it. I pretty much think in Tagalog & English, wouldn’t it be nice if I could talk and think in… say, Swahili? Seriously though, this is more of an exciting thing for me to do rather than a challenge.
  6. Date a girl who I can be with the rest of my life… potentially speaking. This is something I never thought of doing back in 2012 since I made a pact with myself to stay single for the whole of it. Now I think it’s time to start looking for her. But then, you know, I’m only 21. Which leads me to…
  7. Don’t ever get married unless I get seven-to-eight digits without decimals in my bank account. I’ve made this argument in my head whether I should use Peso or Dollar for the currency, and honestly, I haven’t decided yet. Realistically speaking, I can do Peso. But if I were to be the over-achiever that I am not, I’d go with the USD. To my bros out there, if you can read this, this isn’t a bad rule to follow. Join me!
  8. Write more. This is kind of pointless, since I’m already doing it. But I do need to keep track of what I’m doing for the rest of 2013. Lucky for you, though, my faithful readers. You’d get to read more shit from me. BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
  9. With the SIN Tax just around the corner, it’s time to cut down on my vices. This goes hand-in-hand with me trying to get back to my athletic self. I do have vices, and God knows I wouldn’t want to spend more than I should just to soothe myself. So ’nuff with that shit, I’m putting myself on a minimum consumption of those vices of mine.
  10. Be more observant. That means I should talk less & watch more. It’s going to be hard for me, but it’s worth a shot. I mean, I could observe and talk at the same time, but I would want to improve my observation skills. This might scare some people off, but meh. Who cares, right?

I think I’ve made a productive list, and I deserve a high-five. I got exactly one year to achieve most of these things. So tell me, my dear few readers, where should I start? And do you think you can keep up with this kind of resolution? I do have a comment box, use that shit. 

DONE.

Probably Not Another “How-To”

Here I am, an hour and a half away from 2013, writing about another “How-To” requested by a friend of mine. This would probably suck, but then again, this might help you hopeless perverts-slash-romantics out there.

One thing that’s constant about us young adults is that we sometimes never fail to think about the opposite sex. With young adults, I mean us early twenty-to-thirty people. If you’re 13-16 years old, don’t even consider yourself as a young adult. Yeah sure, you might be a bit more mature than most of the people in my age group, but you’re still not allowed to vote. NOTE: No, I’m not directing this message to anyone.

Anyway, just to help you ladies out, I’ll probably list out some things that you need to keep in mind if you want a guy to go crazy over you. Remember this though, I’m an average guy who’s going to write about a “How-To” for ladies who are kind of bewildered of the fact that a guy is not crazy about ’em. This could work, but you should always assume that the guy you like doesn’t like the quarter of what I’ll list here. So here goes…

  1. Smile at us. Unless of course, you have yellowish buck teeth and blackish gum line. A smile goes a long way for us dudes. You can give us those signals that you like us, but that is a bitch. You’ll end up making us think that you’re just smiling just cause, but no. You know what I mean? Thus, these signals make us crazy. We won’t stop thinking about you.
  2. Play with us. It could be a video game, a card game, a sport, or just plain messing around. Any sort of interaction with us through our favorite hobby is golden. You could always pretend that you like doing it, but you know it’s always plus points for sincerity.
  3. Don’t try too hard. If you like a sporty guy, don’t initiate a conversation about how Kobe got to the 30,000 point mark and mistaking him for a white guy with blonde hair and short shorts. You can always ask us questions about what we are watching. Like, how did Cain Velasquez beat the shit out of Junior Dos Santos. Or how did the Los Angeles Clippers get to a 17 win streak. Like I said, you can always pretend that you’re interested, but sincerity goes a very long way with us. I could easily say that this #3 is the “Don’t be dumb” part of my list, but just hold your horses. I ain’t even done yet.
  4. Don’t be afraid to be stupid with us. By stupid, I mean don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself in front of us. If you suddenly spray out your drink through your nose because you laughed the fuck out of our joke, it’s okay. We made you laugh, and that’s something. Hurting your nostrils is just a bonus. HA HA HA.
  5. Do something sexy but subtle. A slight brush of your hand on our arm, a hug with a kiss on the cheek, leaning of your head on our shoulder because you’re kinda drunk or sleepy, or even just winking at us when we smile back at you when you did the #1 on my list. I find this sexy because the subtlety of this kind of action is too much for us to handle if we somewhat find you attractive.
  6. Don’t do any of this shit if we already rejected you in some way, or gave you an impression that a relationship with you is not on our mind right now. You could probably do #1, but any other item in this list could end up as irritable to us. High five, ladies.

Believe me, ladies, I tried my best to be as objective as possible while writing this. Lucky for me, this did not end up as “Mr. Juan Tamad’s guide if ladies want him to go crazy for them”, ‘coz that’s just bull.

2013 is just 30 minutes away ladies, you think you can make us guys crazy before midnight?

DONE.

Things We Say

With 2013 just creeping around the corner, rather than having to post what I want for my New Year Resolution, I’d rather have myself write about the things I want to say to certain people or a certain person. That should be a good start, right? This might seem like a personal post (well, it kind of is), but this should give you some sort of inspiration to bury the hatchet, shoot the target, or just plain beat around the bush.

I would like to set the tone on how my relationships with my friends would be like this 2013 after this blog post. And for those of you who really are reading and following what I write here, you’re in for a world of what-the-fucks and holy-shits.

To my friends who are in long term relationships, keep it up. We’ve all been friends for almost seven years now, we wouldn’t want to ruin it just ‘coz you guys broke up. And if there is a chance that you guys break up, make sure we single friends of yours don’t get in the middle of it. Don’t make us choose sides.

To my still-single brothers, I have no plan on leaving you guys in the air. We party ’til the break of dawn if we have to. Our bond as bros shall never be torn apart by women or jobs, even if women+jobs sound a bit tempting in some sleazy way.

To the girl that I made a wrong decision of feeling something close to love, if you read my blog, then you must know who you are. I wanted to tell you to stay away from me for reasons that just cannot be explained at this moment (I’d probably would if you decided to up and ask me). You clearly have issues that you haven’t gotten over with. You won’t probably get over it unless you’ve accepted the reasons why he’s not with you.

Liking you was a wrong move on my part. I really shouldn’t be attracted to damsels-in-distress, it’s a bad friggin’ idea. You’re not exactly the kind of girl I’ve always wanted, but you seemed to have piqued my interest on a different level. You’re crazy enough for me, but my friend was right, puro na lang ikaw (Google translate this, if you’d like). You don’t want to admit it, but you’re a very high maintenance kind of girl. So why the fuck am I so attracted to you?

God knows why, but ’nuff of it though. Even I don’t want to know anymore. It’s not like you know how much I like you. I’ve pretty much done an accidentally great job of not telling a soul about it. And for that, I’ll throw myself a self-five.

Good job.

This blog post may not reach the people who I intend to hit with the words that I write, but to hell with it, right? There’s no law out there saying that I’m not allowed to say shit on my blog (yes, I’m talking to you Senator Sotto). Don’t plan on changing the Internet way of life, ‘coz the Internet will fuck you up if you do. It’s just the way it is, accept it.

So friends, 2013 is just there waiting for us. I plan on changing just the way I am physically, that’s it. Maybe a little fix on some personality kinks, but meh, no one’s complaining. What about you?

DONE.

Feeling A Bit Nostalgic

I was born on 1991, at the not-so-exact moment when the Parliament of Croatia cuts all remaining ties with Yugoslavia (thank you Wikipedia). It was the year when the Internet has been made available to unrestricted commercial use. It was when Nirvana made Grunge the dominant genre up until the mid-90’s. It was a great year, but that was also the year when I wasn’t aware of any shit that was happening around me. I’m a bit disappointed that I was born too late to fully appreciate what the rest of the 90’s has brought to mankind, but then, who says I can’t appreciate it now?

Sure, 21 years later shit changed drastically. Prices went up. Population went kaboom. The Terminator had two more movies after Judgment Day. Freddie Mercury was remembered to be stricken with AIDS, and now he is one of the most recognizable legends of music together with Lennon, Hendrix, Cobain, 2Pac, and all others.

Couldn’t find a photo with Tupac & Mercury together. This’ll do.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just frustrated that I’m at the point where I miss the 90’s even though I was just a kid back then. Now, all the music that I listen to are the ones that were made before I graduated high school… maybe not all of ’em, but you get my point, right? I was in the middle of watching some old movies, then when I got to watch American Pie 2 when I realized that high school parties before involved just rock music. Yes, we can consider the fact that hip-hop wasn’t that much of a big deal back then, but you have to think about it still. Right now, it’s all pop, but then pop means popular. Pop back then was Rock, but right now it’s just… pop.

I did not grow up in a country, let alone in a culture, where beer kegs and body shots were the theme of high school parties. There was just none of it, in fact. After all this time, we are in a point in my generation where teenage girls are getting pregnant, and those dudes that they squeal for dress up like trailer park assholes when they meet their country’s leader.

Does the Prime Minister of Canada have a gun? I think he should have one.

Point is, we’ve definitely lost our way. This isn’t what it’s supposed to be like when Lennon made people cry when he wrote & sang “Imagine”. It was very hippie of him, but the man has a point. There’s not much I could say, in fact, I shouldn’t be saying anything at all. This blog post probably won’t reach the mainstream internet, even the underground parts of it.

You get my point, right?

We have this lost generation of things that were so awesome back then that paved the way for the things that we have right now. We keep on saying that things were better back then but we don’t do shit about bringing back what made it better than today. So tell you what, do comment on what you want to bring back from that lost generation. It doesn’t even have to be strictly about one topic, you can go all out. I’ll leave you guys to think about it with this last photo.

Truer words have never been spoken.

DONE.

The One That You Never Had

It’s 2012, and if you’re above the legal age of drinking in the US, doesn’t it make sense that you should think about that person you know you never had, and possibly, not be able to have in the near future? I’m saying this because you know, the Mayans said that the world will end this year. But ’nuff with all the bullshit these Mayans are saying, let’s get into discussion about the person you never had.

Think about it, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the person you never had was the person you’d want to spend the rest of your life with. It could be a classmate that you thought was just too perfect that time. Or it could be a platonic friend who’s always there for you when you think you’re about take a fall. Or it could be that bartender you always talk to when you’re six drinks in. Say for example, 10 years later, you get to meet this person again after not seeing them for the longest time. Would you still feel the same way that you felt back then? Or are you just going to ruin everything with succumbing to this awkward situation?

See, there’s a big difference between “the one that got away” with “the best you never had”. I’m saying this because it’s two entirely different things.

The one that got away is a person that you had, but never got a chance to spend the rest of your life with even though he or she was supposed to be the one, and still is (or at least the thought of him/her) after all this time. It didn’t necessarily have to end well, just the fact that after all that you two have been through, he/she can still be that one person you end up being with. The best you never had is a person who you never got the chance of having but is still the one in your mind. Both have similarities but should never be handled the same way. I’m not writing this because I want to help you get over that person. I’m writing this to help you figure out what you have, or had, in your life. And I am telling you to not screw it up by screwing your definitions of things.

So an important question comes into play and I would love it if you guys could answer this.

If the time comes that you can have either one of these two people, which one would you choose? The one that got away? Or the best you never had?

You can comment below this post, or you can just tweet me your answer as to which one you’d choose and why. And by God, forgive me, since this is my first time to interact with the readers of my blog. It gets scary, y’know.

DONE.

The Zones

At this day and age of the Internet, I’m pretty sure you’re more than aware of the different kind of zones that you are in right now with a certain person of the opposite sex. There’s a lot of it, but really, it all comes down to this one big country called the “Friend-zone”.

One of the most obvious signs that you’re fucked.

Wikipedia defines it like this: In popular culture, the “friend zone” refers to a platonic relationship where one person wishes to enter into a romantic relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship.

While the Urban Dictionary defines it like this: A state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a ‘platonic friend’ of an attractive female who he was trying to initiate a romantic relationship. Females have been rumored to arrive in the Friend Zone, but reports are unsubstantiated.

EXAMPLE: 
Girl: “I love you (Insert the poor bastard’s name here,) but I dont want to ruin a great friendship by dating you.”
Guy: “Well why the fuck did I waste two months on you?”
Those simple definitions should be enough for you to think about where you are right now in that person’s life. What are you to them? Why are you in that zone? Did you do something that fucked up your chances? Really, you wouldn’t know the truth even if you ask ’em. Girls would always try to be on the defensive, sugarcoating what they would say to you just to let you down easy. Guys would be straight to the point, but then girls would over-analyze what these guys just said and think of some entirely different meaning to it. Don’t get me wrong, girls would get it right the first time, but they won’t accept the fact that they already got it right so they conjure up a whole new definition for it.

You’re fucked, but not in the way that you’re expecting.

Now let’s get to know this one district in the Friend-zone called the “Bro-zone”.

Our friend, the Urban Dictionary defines it as:

It has been speculated that women do not end up in the friend zone as frequently as men. But where they may end up is in the Bro Zone.Though some consider it a male version of the friend zone; it is widely accepted that the Bro Zone is worse for the poor women stuck in it.In essence it is when a woman is crowned “one of the guys.” She’s considered to be part of the dude pack without the sexual tension. Men behave without restraint around the individual; not worrying about what the woman might think or wether they impress her or not. She is accepted and embraced into the pack as an equal. In short, “she’s a dude.”

Women may end up in the Bro Zone by any of the following: easy going, friendly, social, accepting but also obsession with sports, curses like a sailor, not too attractive, macho like characteristics, butch

Women with mostly male friends are more susceptible to have several Bro Zone’s. Also, most women in the Bro Zone do have a love interest they fail to impress because of the Zone. They end up listening to their love interests’ girlfriend problems and, at times, his sexual encounters. All culminating with him saying “you’re such an awesome friend.

A harsh example.

With that being said, you have to admit that we guys do it too, not as often as women friend-zone us men. But let me tell you this, the Bro Zone has a lot of male residents. And this is just taken purely out of my experience. Let me drop some knowledge.

These girls who put guys in the Bro Zone, they just consider them as “just bros”. Now, Urban Dictionary may think that the Bro Zone is only bad for the women, and it may also think that women would get the bad end of being stuck in it. Not really, if you ask me. Guys eventually see these girls in the Bro Zone as someone really cool, and they might fall for these girls, unless they are exceptionally ugly (just sayin’). Now these girls, when they put a dude in the Bro Zone, that’s it. You can’t do shit, guys. She has already established the fact that you will never be more than a cool brother to her.

The Bro Zone is harsher to us guys than you girls. Why you ask? It’s because no one likes to fuck their brother. Unless you’re into that Game Of Thrones kind of incest, even though you’re not blood related, the thought of it still sucks you in.

Poor bastard.

Final advice:

Show your intentions for how they really are. Don’t act like you’re bro-ing it out with her, then realize that she’s the one. She might put you in the Bro Zone before you know it. And girls, trust me, you have it easier than us men, you just have to accept that fact that you have boobs. Just sayin’.

I was going to talk about the other zones, but these are the two major ones. Read it, learn to like it.

DONE.

Ten Things To Do When You Have Writer’s Block

Okay, since the titles says it all, I’m going to try my best to share with you guys the top ten things that I do when I have a Writer’s Block. I said try, ‘coz I’m not really sure if I have ten since I think I only have one. Let’s cut to the chase, and lez get it on!

  1. Don’t try too hard. If it’s not coming to you, don’t push it. Don’t drive yourself crazy over the fact that you can’t write shit right now. Deadlines are kind of a “push” that is required, but that’s only because you get paid or graded when you are given a deadline.
  2. Meditate. This is something that I do a lot, even if I’m in front of my computer. A few minutes of silence helps clear the mind of unnecessary things. It helps you focus on what you want to write, so long as you don’t think about it while meditating. The idea should come to you naturally.
  3. Listen to old pieces of music. No offense to the new ones, but the old ones hold so much meaning, and inspiration, you’d be jamming throughout one song while writing what you want to write. It gets me going.
  4. Don’t shove yourself into your writing. Multiple browser tabs, pressing CTRL+TAB or even ALT+TAB helps. Don’t force yourself to finish immediately. In every paragraph, a proper distraction is needed.
  5. Movies, movies, movies. It doesn’t even matter what you watch, just watch. You might be on a writer’s block because you haven’t even expanded your vocabulary that much. You just have to practice on it by watching movies, and adapting to how a conversation would be like with different kinds of people.
  6. You have to accept the fact that not everyone will always like what you write. Acceptance is the key to everything. You just have to go ahead and write it.
  7. Feed yourself. You can’t think if your brain is too busy thinking about what to eat next. Deprivation should be a top rank on what can kill you.
  8. Hydrate yourself. Think about it, the brain is 80% water, my friend.
  9. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Some of the best writers of all time are either delusional, crazy, or just high with some sort of substance. I’m not saying you should experiment on being high on acid. Sometimes, getting drunk is always the easiest option that you have.
  10. Practice on a signature style. Shakespeare’s one of the best writers of all time because he was the master of tragedies. You don’t necessarily have to imitate the way a famous writer writes, but you should establish your signature pattern. Experimentation goes hand-in-hand with practicing your style.

Wow, will you look at that. I actually listed down ten of ’em. Cool.

DONE.

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