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The Zones

At this day and age of the Internet, I’m pretty sure you’re more than aware of the different kind of zones that you are in right now with a certain person of the opposite sex. There’s a lot of it, but really, it all comes down to this one big country called the “Friend-zone”.

One of the most obvious signs that you’re fucked.

Wikipedia defines it like this: In popular culture, the “friend zone” refers to a platonic relationship where one person wishes to enter into a romantic relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship.

While the Urban Dictionary defines it like this: A state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a ‘platonic friend’ of an attractive female who he was trying to initiate a romantic relationship. Females have been rumored to arrive in the Friend Zone, but reports are unsubstantiated.

EXAMPLE: 
Girl: “I love you (Insert the poor bastard’s name here,) but I dont want to ruin a great friendship by dating you.”
Guy: “Well why the fuck did I waste two months on you?”
Those simple definitions should be enough for you to think about where you are right now in that person’s life. What are you to them? Why are you in that zone? Did you do something that fucked up your chances? Really, you wouldn’t know the truth even if you ask ’em. Girls would always try to be on the defensive, sugarcoating what they would say to you just to let you down easy. Guys would be straight to the point, but then girls would over-analyze what these guys just said and think of some entirely different meaning to it. Don’t get me wrong, girls would get it right the first time, but they won’t accept the fact that they already got it right so they conjure up a whole new definition for it.

You’re fucked, but not in the way that you’re expecting.

Now let’s get to know this one district in the Friend-zone called the “Bro-zone”.

Our friend, the Urban Dictionary defines it as:

It has been speculated that women do not end up in the friend zone as frequently as men. But where they may end up is in the Bro Zone.Though some consider it a male version of the friend zone; it is widely accepted that the Bro Zone is worse for the poor women stuck in it.In essence it is when a woman is crowned “one of the guys.” She’s considered to be part of the dude pack without the sexual tension. Men behave without restraint around the individual; not worrying about what the woman might think or wether they impress her or not. She is accepted and embraced into the pack as an equal. In short, “she’s a dude.”

Women may end up in the Bro Zone by any of the following: easy going, friendly, social, accepting but also obsession with sports, curses like a sailor, not too attractive, macho like characteristics, butch

Women with mostly male friends are more susceptible to have several Bro Zone’s. Also, most women in the Bro Zone do have a love interest they fail to impress because of the Zone. They end up listening to their love interests’ girlfriend problems and, at times, his sexual encounters. All culminating with him saying “you’re such an awesome friend.

A harsh example.

With that being said, you have to admit that we guys do it too, not as often as women friend-zone us men. But let me tell you this, the Bro Zone has a lot of male residents. And this is just taken purely out of my experience. Let me drop some knowledge.

These girls who put guys in the Bro Zone, they just consider them as “just bros”. Now, Urban Dictionary may think that the Bro Zone is only bad for the women, and it may also think that women would get the bad end of being stuck in it. Not really, if you ask me. Guys eventually see these girls in the Bro Zone as someone really cool, and they might fall for these girls, unless they are exceptionally ugly (just sayin’). Now these girls, when they put a dude in the Bro Zone, that’s it. You can’t do shit, guys. She has already established the fact that you will never be more than a cool brother to her.

The Bro Zone is harsher to us guys than you girls. Why you ask? It’s because no one likes to fuck their brother. Unless you’re into that Game Of Thrones kind of incest, even though you’re not blood related, the thought of it still sucks you in.

Poor bastard.

Final advice:

Show your intentions for how they really are. Don’t act like you’re bro-ing it out with her, then realize that she’s the one. She might put you in the Bro Zone before you know it. And girls, trust me, you have it easier than us men, you just have to accept that fact that you have boobs. Just sayin’.

I was going to talk about the other zones, but these are the two major ones. Read it, learn to like it.

DONE.

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Her Preferences

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. And quite frankly, it is a legitimate topic. Not to mention, a mind-boggling issue worthy of a debate. So let’s see if your arguments are valid.

My guess is, it wouldn't be as valid as this.

So here’s the topic.

Women who prefer dating guys with thick wallets rather than quality guys.

This is a really old topic, which I just thought would be fun to talk about nowadays. I have to be honest, I think I broke up with 2 girls because I thought my wallet’s not thick enough, so to speak.

Let’s be honest here. This is a legitimate fear of guys. Women who they date don’t say straight up that they only did that because they’re rich. Guys who fear that women are after their money are douche-bags. Women who date guys for their money are gold-diggers.

Why can’t we all just love each other just because?

Is the economy that bad nowadays? Sorry. But I can’t help but ask.

It upsets me.

DONE.

That Awkward Moment EP. 2

That awkward moment when you realized that the chick you just added on Facebook is a sister of a friend of yours. You’re bros. Technically.

Okay, I’mma post this real quick ‘coz I’m running out of time.

About that specific awkward moment. I’m a HUGE follower of the Bro Code made by Sir Barnabas Stinson.

The Father of Awesomeness.

Not only that, somewhere in the Bro Code, was a specific rule made for the specific situation.

And it is as follows:

A bro shall not sleep with another bro’s sister. However, a bro shall not get angry if another bro says “Dude, your sister’s hot!!”.

Corollary, it is probably better for everyone if bros just hide pictures of their sisters when other bros are coming over. When in doubt refer to the check list for bro-proofing your home.

Okay. So you get that right? Click this for the check list for bro-proofing your home.

Anyway, it was never written there about dating the sister. But sure. Let’s assume that there’s gonna be sex involved. Respect, right? We can’t just do this casually because we’re all bros by principle. Let’s not forget though that some bros just don’t mesh with other bros.

So yes.

 

Indeed.

DONE.

A Bit of Reminiscing

About a year ago, I left work because of this girl. That’s just one of the reasons why I left work, so please, don’t sue me. I have lots of reasons, actually. Now, in 5 days, I’ll be working again. And hopefully, not going to leave it because one reason would involve a girl.

Ha. I just got back from the mountains with a few of my closest friends. Holy shit. Lots of awesome stuff happened, and we’re so happy that we were able to keep the tradition alive even if only a few of us were able to come with. We had too much food, and too much liquor. Yeah. THAT’S A LOT CONSIDERING THAT I’M THE ONE WHO SAID THIS.

Ah yes. That time capsule 3-4 years ago from the 3rd outing? It was there. It’s a mystery though. You’d have to get us drunk before we could even say shit about it. Hahahahaha. Great thing about the hike was the hike itself. I don’t have any recollection of the hike being so goddamn tiring. What the hell happened to us?!

Anyway. This shit is about reminiscing so let’s get into it.

I opened my old social network accounts out of boredom my drowsiness (that doesn’t include Friendster, because I forgot that shit 4 years ago). I mean, wow. I said a lot of things I meant back then, and still, I’m the one who got the bad end of it. What’s wrong with being honest? Seriously?

Earlier, I told you about a girl. I accidentally thought of her while drinking with my friends. I kind of miss her. Just to be friends with her again would be nice. Yeah, I said that. I can be friendly at times. And forgiving.

Actually, I have nothing else to say anymore. This is such a dramatic post, considering that I don’t normally rant about my emotions. I don’t tell people in my blog that I miss them. Unless I meant it. So yeah.

Fuck. Wait. I have to pee in a cup again. I’ll flame around online later.

Pee or Orange Juice? You decide.

 

DONE.

The Death Penalty

Okay, here we go again. Another sensitive topic. Capital Punishment here in the Philippines. I’m writing this because of the recent issue of 3 people arrested in China for drug possession. Hate me for sharing my opinion, I don’t really care. So here we go.

First off, again, I Google‘d most of my research so don’t judge my work. Google is the most comprehensive search engine EVER. And no, Google doesn’t pay me to plug their name in my blog.

So. For a brief history of the Capital Punishment here in the Philippines, I found this very reliable article in Wikipedia. See the trend?

Now here’s the Republic Act No. 9165 for Illegal drugs. I’m pretty sure that death penalty is out of the equation since it was abolished back in 2006.

IMO, those 3 who were caught in China for being drug mules (now executed) should have seen this coming. I’m not sure if it’s right to talk shit about them now that they’re executed, but seriously, if you’re planning on doing something illegal, make sure you’re ready for the consequences. We can’t blame the Chinese government for implementing their laws. Blame those fuckin’ drug lords who just can’t stop trafficking illegal shit.

Who are we to decide who to execute? If you’re proven guilty of an unforgivable crime, then maybe, you should pay for your life. Not be given a second chance of living in prison for a lifetime. You don’t get to have the benefit of having free food in a government facility. But that’s just me.

I feel bad for this guy. He’s the only dude in my 19 years of living here who received the death penalty. Or at least, to be fair, he’s the only guy I remember of having to die by lethal injection. But seriously, he raped his own daughter. So I guess he had it coming, so to speak.

So let’s think about it. How about we bring back the death penalty? Not only we would prevent vigilante justice, we’ll make an example out of those people who just can’t seem to do any right in this world. Religion aside, we all know that those people who committed unforgivable crimes should cease to exist in this world. Take for example, Andal Ampatuan Jr. That douchebag killed a lot of people. And yet he lives. Those 3 who were recently executed in China, pushed drugs. Can you not see the difference?

What the FUCK is wrong with our system?

You figure it out.

Ask yourself. You'll figure it out.

DONE.

I Never Really React This Way

But dear Lord you’re friggin’ ugly! I’m serious! You’re so ugly, I feel compelled to blog about it.

I’m not here to gather up some views for my blog, because I don’t really care about it. I just write what I want to write & I won’t feel bad about it. I seriously JUST WANT to let the world know how ugly you are, because maybe, JUST MAYBE, they’re just being nice to you.

I’m a bad dude for doing this, but there’s nothing wrong about saying the shit I want because that’s what I sincerely feel about your face. I’m not the kind of guy who hides what he feels. But this sure beats my principle of keeping my reactions to a bare minimum (I’m not at my maximum either).

Since I’m trying my best to control my hatred for your face, let’s just do this like David Letterman.

My 10 favorite”your-face-is-so-fuckin’-ugly” jokes & quotes!

  1. If I took a punch for everything wrong with your face, I’d be covered with bruises.
  2. You’re so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies.
  3. You’re so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn’t come back.
  4. You’re so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
  5. Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose!
  6. You’re so ugly, when you walked up to the bartender and said, “Make me a Zombie“, the bartender said, “God beat me to it.”
  7. You’re so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.
  8. You’re so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.
  9. I hate when people say, ” I gotta get my body right for the summer”. And I’m like, WTF are going to do about that face?
  10. God made Coke. God made Pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well. We all make mistakes.

Seriously, you even have the guts to have privacy settings of your Facebook profile set on public. You are the opposite of what you’re trying to represent. Glam, is it? I feel like vomiting right now. And this is not because I was drunk last night.

Ha. Maybe it’s because when you were still a baby, you were dropped while you’re being carried. Hmmmm. No. Actually. I think you were thrown to the wall.

Ohhhh. That sounded a bit harsh. Let me add a ‘lol’ at the end of my sentence. LOL

DONE.

(note: I did intentionally put a link to his/her/its profile for you guys to judge on, if I’m right, or just a plain asshole who is wrong)

So Let’s Talk About Cheaters

Yes. I think I’ve tackled this issue before, but this is just because of all the Facebook notes, polls, and all other shit I’ve seen while trolling around online. I will only write about the things I’ve personally experienced, or the the things I know for sure. So. First off, let’s consult our very good friend, thefreedictionary.com.

Cheat  (cht)

v.cheat·edcheat·ingcheats
v.tr.

1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.
2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.
3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.
4. To elude; escape: cheat death.
v.intr.

1. To act dishonestly; practice fraud.
2. To violate rules deliberately, as in a game: was accused of cheating at cards.
3. Informal To be sexually unfaithful: cheat on a spouse.
4. Baseball To position oneself closer to a certain area than is normal or expected: The shortstop cheated toward second base.
n.

1. An act of cheating; a fraud or swindle.
2. One who cheats; a swindler.
3. A computer application, password, or disallowed technique used to advance to a higher skill level in a computer video game.
4. Law Fraudulent acquisition of another’s property.
5. Botany An annual European species of brome grass (Bromus secalinus) widely naturalized in temperate regions.
Cheaters in video games, IMO, are forgivable, IF and ONLY IF it’s not an online game. Cheat codes are part of the game and is made by the developers itself. I’ve cheated in video games before. That was way back when I was still in my early years. My most recent cheat was, when I used codes to unlock jerseys in NBA 2K11. Online game cheating, however, is very UNFORGIVABLE. Yes. Using of third-party programs like bots & hacks. It disgusts me. The developers didn’t make them. Frustrated programmers did. And by frustrated, I mean, they don’t want to work hard for their characters. Bottom-line is, don’t cheat if you’re online.
Next is, cheating death. Okay, seriously, this is an ironically good thing. Ironic, because it’s bad to tease death. It’s good if you survived. But honestly, don’t try again. 3rd time’s the charm, but death believes in that too. Don’t try your luck, ladies & gents.
Lastly, infidelity. I’m gonna be serious with this one, ‘coz I experienced this more than once. Enough for me to write a trilogy of books. Let’s be serious, why the hell do we cheat on our spouses? I’m not sure if I can answer that because I haven’t cheated, yet, to be fair. I got cheated on more than twice.
Thrice.
Oh shit. I lost count.
Then I saw this poll in Facebook. Who is more likely to cheat? Males or females? It was a very biased poll. Most girls answered “males”, while most men answered “females”. What is the deal, guys & girls?
The funny thing about that poll is, even if the cheaters who voted for their gender counterparts, they wouldn’t admit that they cheated. I mean seriously! If you cheated, you shouldn’t be proud, but you should admit that you did it. Even if it’s just one time.
Nothing beats the truth.
I wonder if this guy does cheaters in video games…
DONE.
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