Here I am, an hour and a half away from 2013, writing about another “How-To” requested by a friend of mine. This would probably suck, but then again, this might help you hopeless perverts-slash-romantics out there.
One thing that’s constant about us young adults is that we sometimes never fail to think about the opposite sex. With young adults, I mean us early twenty-to-thirty people. If you’re 13-16 years old, don’t even consider yourself as a young adult. Yeah sure, you might be a bit more mature than most of the people in my age group, but you’re still not allowed to vote. NOTE: No, I’m not directing this message to anyone.
Anyway, just to help you ladies out, I’ll probably list out some things that you need to keep in mind if you want a guy to go crazy over you. Remember this though, I’m an average guy who’s going to write about a “How-To” for ladies who are kind of bewildered of the fact that a guy is not crazy about ’em. This could work, but you should always assume that the guy you like doesn’t like the quarter of what I’ll list here. So here goes…
- Smile at us. Unless of course, you have yellowish buck teeth and blackish gum line. A smile goes a long way for us dudes. You can give us those signals that you like us, but that is a bitch. You’ll end up making us think that you’re just smiling just cause, but no. You know what I mean? Thus, these signals make us crazy. We won’t stop thinking about you.
- Play with us. It could be a video game, a card game, a sport, or just plain messing around. Any sort of interaction with us through our favorite hobby is golden. You could always pretend that you like doing it, but you know it’s always plus points for sincerity.
- Don’t try too hard. If you like a sporty guy, don’t initiate a conversation about how Kobe got to the 30,000 point mark and mistaking him for a white guy with blonde hair and short shorts. You can always ask us questions about what we are watching. Like, how did Cain Velasquez beat the shit out of Junior Dos Santos. Or how did the Los Angeles Clippers get to a 17 win streak. Like I said, you can always pretend that you’re interested, but sincerity goes a very long way with us. I could easily say that this #3 is the “Don’t be dumb” part of my list, but just hold your horses. I ain’t even done yet.
- Don’t be afraid to be stupid with us. By stupid, I mean don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself in front of us. If you suddenly spray out your drink through your nose because you laughed the fuck out of our joke, it’s okay. We made you laugh, and that’s something. Hurting your nostrils is just a bonus. HA HA HA.
- Do something sexy but subtle. A slight brush of your hand on our arm, a hug with a kiss on the cheek, leaning of your head on our shoulder because you’re kinda drunk or sleepy, or even just winking at us when we smile back at you when you did the #1 on my list. I find this sexy because the subtlety of this kind of action is too much for us to handle if we somewhat find you attractive.
- Don’t do any of this shit if we already rejected you in some way, or gave you an impression that a relationship with you is not on our mind right now. You could probably do #1, but any other item in this list could end up as irritable to us. High five, ladies.
Believe me, ladies, I tried my best to be as objective as possible while writing this. Lucky for me, this did not end up as “Mr. Juan Tamad’s guide if ladies want him to go crazy for them”, ‘coz that’s just bull.
2013 is just 30 minutes away ladies, you think you can make us guys crazy before midnight?
With 2013 just creeping around the corner, rather than having to post what I want for my New Year Resolution, I’d rather have myself write about the things I want to say to certain people or a certain person. That should be a good start, right? This might seem like a personal post (well, it kind of is), but this should give you some sort of inspiration to bury the hatchet, shoot the target, or just plain beat around the bush.
I would like to set the tone on how my relationships with my friends would be like this 2013 after this blog post. And for those of you who really are reading and following what I write here, you’re in for a world of what-the-fucks and holy-shits.
To my friends who are in long term relationships, keep it up. We’ve all been friends for almost seven years now, we wouldn’t want to ruin it just ‘coz you guys broke up. And if there is a chance that you guys break up, make sure we single friends of yours don’t get in the middle of it. Don’t make us choose sides.
To my still-single brothers, I have no plan on leaving you guys in the air. We party ’til the break of dawn if we have to. Our bond as bros shall never be torn apart by women or jobs, even if women+jobs sound a bit tempting in some sleazy way.
To the girl that I made a wrong decision of feeling something close to love, if you read my blog, then you must know who you are. I wanted to tell you to stay away from me for reasons that just cannot be explained at this moment (I’d probably would if you decided to up and ask me). You clearly have issues that you haven’t gotten over with. You won’t probably get over it unless you’ve accepted the reasons why he’s not with you.
Liking you was a wrong move on my part. I really shouldn’t be attracted to damsels-in-distress, it’s a bad friggin’ idea. You’re not exactly the kind of girl I’ve always wanted, but you seemed to have piqued my interest on a different level. You’re crazy enough for me, but my friend was right, puro na lang ikaw (Google translate this, if you’d like). You don’t want to admit it, but you’re a very high maintenance kind of girl. So why the fuck am I so attracted to you?
God knows why, but ’nuff of it though. Even I don’t want to know anymore. It’s not like you know how much I like you. I’ve pretty much done an accidentally great job of not telling a soul about it. And for that, I’ll throw myself a self-five.
This blog post may not reach the people who I intend to hit with the words that I write, but to hell with it, right? There’s no law out there saying that I’m not allowed to say shit on my blog (yes, I’m talking to you Senator Sotto). Don’t plan on changing the Internet way of life, ‘coz the Internet will fuck you up if you do. It’s just the way it is, accept it.
So friends, 2013 is just there waiting for us. I plan on changing just the way I am physically, that’s it. Maybe a little fix on some personality kinks, but meh, no one’s complaining. What about you?
I honestly do not know how to start a topic like this because I’m kind of buzzed right now. But worry not, I shall try my best to document & publish these thoughts of mine just for the hell of it. And because I really don’t have shit to do at one in the morning if I ain’t sleepy yet. Man, I shouldn’t be staying up this late. I got a job interview tomorrow. -_-
As a dude, I’m not exactly appealing to the eye, but I’m not that ugly. I’m probably in the borderline of handsome and ugly. Not cute. Probably average. I didn’t really put much effort onto having my Facebook sound or look like a Curriculum Vitae for dating. But I do make it clear of how I determine if I like the girl, and that’s an interesting thing to talk about for this very random post, right?
My principles for dating a woman are as follows:
- Never over or under four (4) years of age gap. Why? I’m 21 years of age, and dating a 16 year old chick isn’t really impressive. As with 26 year old women, they will have demands like getting married, like hinting that they want three kids, like asking why you still live with your parents, etc etc etc. At 21, you’d just want the right kind of gap that is on the very thin line of mature & immature. But of course my friends, there are always exceptions.
- If she doesn’t like my friends, say bye-bye. This is a staple, since I treat my friends as if they’re my second family. If she doesn’t like them for the way they are and thinks they suck to hang out with, then the bitch better be gone before happy hour.
- If she’s a gamer, date her, but if she games more than you, just befriend her. Okay, for some this is a bit ridiculous since I know ever gamer dude wants their gamer chick girlfriend. I mean, who doesn’t? But at this point, you gotta realize that if she games more than me, she’s not going to look like the chick I’ve always imagined. It’s fun to talk to girlfriends about a certain build of a Half-Demon Thief in Neverwinter Nights 2, but if she knows that shit better than you, dude, you either have a geeky girl or a demanding “do-this-do-that-why-the-fuck-did-you-level-that-pathetic-excuse-of-a-skill-that-cost-10-skill-points-you-noob?” kind of girlfriend. I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s just me.
Those are just some of the three things I usually follow when I plan on dating someone. If it goes two out of three, she’s got to go. In truth though, I’m writing this just to feel good about myself, that I have these things to keep in mind to avoid making mistakes. It keeps me sane that I don’t have to like this 28 year old chick, who bro-zoned me before I could even like her, not that I was planning on liking her but I did and it’s just fucking me up in the brain right now that shit like this could happen. And it didn’t help at all with me dreaming about her for three consecutive nights, it’s just not me, and it’s too cheesy. Ugh. Fuck my life.