Tag Archive | FriendZone

A Back-and-Forth Trip

Back then, I wasn’t the kind of kid who stays in one place. I got used to running around, meeting new friends, playing in the dirt for hours ’til sunset. But yeah, I had a lot of energy back then. I was in the boy’s volleyball team back in 4th grade, soccer team in 5th grade, and the track team in 6th grade. I won medals and all that shit, but that didn’t mean much to me back then because we never really had a pure athlete in the family. Though I did plan to be the first one, but obviously, I failed miserably.

Sure, excuses are for pussies. I had my reasons, but I never really thought of them as valid enough to give up on it. First, I’m injury-prone as a kid. I had 21 stitches right across my forehead, broken my left arm, and busted my knee, all before I graduated primary school.

Second, I felt that I didn’t have enough support from my family, my mom for the most part. I mean, I did, at one point, felt that they were supporting me. But it was just never consistent enough for me to pursue what I wanted that time. There’s this qualifying tournament for nationals when I was in the track team, and my mom did not let me compete just ‘coz I came home late that time. Some of you might say that my mom was right to not let me compete that time. Discipline and all. But you guys should know, I came home late ‘coz I was coming home from a practice that ran late. Motivational speeches from the coach & some of the seniors, I’m pretty sure you know how that goes. I did explain, but you know some parents tend to not believe the things their kids say at that point.

Lastly, transferring to a school that does not have a track team or a soccer team did not help at all. I didn’t have the chance to enroll in summer clinics to expand my network. I was supposed to enroll to a school that has those two sports that I was into that time, but then I didn’t know what happened to that. I seriously did not have a clue about what transpired during my pre-high school summer.

Sure, maybe I should’ve switched sports that time. Maybe that might’ve been a better choice for me, considering that I also love playing basketball. But really, all that motivation that I had before got lost when the summer of ’03 passed. I am trying to get back on track now that it’s almost 2013.

Again, ’nuff about that. I’ve had this streak of talking about myself lately, so let’s just get on with it. Remember that girl I was talking about for the past three posts? I’ve known this for the longest time now, and I’ve already learned to accept it for what it really is. I have no chance on being the boyfriend of this girl. Why? I mean, come on, she friggin’ dates rockstars. What does an average guy have on that? I barely know how to play instruments. I don’t have a rockstar lifestyle. I don’t have a car (come on, an average chap can compete if he has a presentable car, and even I don’t have that shit). I don’t have a fat bank account. All the shit that I have are mostly abstract at this point. I’m street-smart enough to impress some people, I can write poetry & songs (which is sometimes pathetic), and I can sometimes talk my way through certain situations. That’s about it.

Plus, if you do follow my Twitter account, you’ll see that I tweeted about her being in love with someone else. And tell you what, if you plan on following how this shit goes for me, wait until I post my next one.

DONE.

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How?

I honestly do not know how to start a topic like this because I’m kind of buzzed right now. But worry not, I shall try my best to document & publish these thoughts of mine just for the hell of it. And because I really don’t have shit to do at one in the morning if I ain’t sleepy yet. Man, I shouldn’t be staying up this late. I got a job interview tomorrow. -_-

As a dude, I’m not exactly appealing to the eye, but I’m not that ugly. I’m probably in the borderline of handsome and ugly. Not cute. Probably average. I didn’t really put much effort onto having my Facebook sound or look like a Curriculum Vitae for dating. But I do make it clear of how I determine if I like the girl, and that’s an interesting thing to talk about for this very random post, right?

My principles for dating a woman are as follows:

  • Never over or under four (4) years of age gap. Why? I’m 21 years of age, and dating a 16 year old chick isn’t really impressive. As with 26 year old women, they will have demands like getting married, like hinting that they want three kids, like asking why you still live with your parents, etc etc etc. At 21, you’d just want the right kind of gap that is on the very thin line of mature & immature. But of course my friends, there are always exceptions.
  • If she doesn’t like my friends, say bye-bye. This is a staple, since I treat my friends as if they’re my second family. If she doesn’t like them for the way they are and thinks they suck to hang out with, then the bitch better be gone before happy hour.
  • If she’s a gamer, date her, but if she games more than you, just befriend her. Okay, for some this is a bit ridiculous since I know ever gamer dude wants their gamer chick girlfriend. I mean, who doesn’t? But at this point, you gotta realize that if she games more than me, she’s not going to look like the chick I’ve always imagined. It’s fun to talk to girlfriends about a certain build of a Half-Demon Thief in Neverwinter Nights 2, but if she knows that shit better than you, dude, you either have a geeky girl or a demanding “do-this-do-that-why-the-fuck-did-you-level-that-pathetic-excuse-of-a-skill-that-cost-10-skill-points-you-noob?” kind of girlfriend. I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s just me.

Those are just some of the three things I usually follow when I plan on dating someone. If it goes two out of three, she’s got to go. In truth though, I’m writing this just to feel good about myself, that I have these things to keep in mind to avoid making mistakes. It keeps me sane that I don’t have to like this 28 year old chick, who bro-zoned me before I could even like her, not that I was planning on liking her but I did and it’s just fucking me up in the brain right now that shit like this could happen. And it didn’t help at all with me dreaming about her for three consecutive nights, it’s just not me, and it’s too cheesy. Ugh. Fuck my life.

The Zones

At this day and age of the Internet, I’m pretty sure you’re more than aware of the different kind of zones that you are in right now with a certain person of the opposite sex. There’s a lot of it, but really, it all comes down to this one big country called the “Friend-zone”.

One of the most obvious signs that you’re fucked.

Wikipedia defines it like this: In popular culture, the “friend zone” refers to a platonic relationship where one person wishes to enter into a romantic relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship.

While the Urban Dictionary defines it like this: A state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a ‘platonic friend’ of an attractive female who he was trying to initiate a romantic relationship. Females have been rumored to arrive in the Friend Zone, but reports are unsubstantiated.

EXAMPLE: 
Girl: “I love you (Insert the poor bastard’s name here,) but I dont want to ruin a great friendship by dating you.”
Guy: “Well why the fuck did I waste two months on you?”
Those simple definitions should be enough for you to think about where you are right now in that person’s life. What are you to them? Why are you in that zone? Did you do something that fucked up your chances? Really, you wouldn’t know the truth even if you ask ’em. Girls would always try to be on the defensive, sugarcoating what they would say to you just to let you down easy. Guys would be straight to the point, but then girls would over-analyze what these guys just said and think of some entirely different meaning to it. Don’t get me wrong, girls would get it right the first time, but they won’t accept the fact that they already got it right so they conjure up a whole new definition for it.

You’re fucked, but not in the way that you’re expecting.

Now let’s get to know this one district in the Friend-zone called the “Bro-zone”.

Our friend, the Urban Dictionary defines it as:

It has been speculated that women do not end up in the friend zone as frequently as men. But where they may end up is in the Bro Zone.Though some consider it a male version of the friend zone; it is widely accepted that the Bro Zone is worse for the poor women stuck in it.In essence it is when a woman is crowned “one of the guys.” She’s considered to be part of the dude pack without the sexual tension. Men behave without restraint around the individual; not worrying about what the woman might think or wether they impress her or not. She is accepted and embraced into the pack as an equal. In short, “she’s a dude.”

Women may end up in the Bro Zone by any of the following: easy going, friendly, social, accepting but also obsession with sports, curses like a sailor, not too attractive, macho like characteristics, butch

Women with mostly male friends are more susceptible to have several Bro Zone’s. Also, most women in the Bro Zone do have a love interest they fail to impress because of the Zone. They end up listening to their love interests’ girlfriend problems and, at times, his sexual encounters. All culminating with him saying “you’re such an awesome friend.

A harsh example.

With that being said, you have to admit that we guys do it too, not as often as women friend-zone us men. But let me tell you this, the Bro Zone has a lot of male residents. And this is just taken purely out of my experience. Let me drop some knowledge.

These girls who put guys in the Bro Zone, they just consider them as “just bros”. Now, Urban Dictionary may think that the Bro Zone is only bad for the women, and it may also think that women would get the bad end of being stuck in it. Not really, if you ask me. Guys eventually see these girls in the Bro Zone as someone really cool, and they might fall for these girls, unless they are exceptionally ugly (just sayin’). Now these girls, when they put a dude in the Bro Zone, that’s it. You can’t do shit, guys. She has already established the fact that you will never be more than a cool brother to her.

The Bro Zone is harsher to us guys than you girls. Why you ask? It’s because no one likes to fuck their brother. Unless you’re into that Game Of Thrones kind of incest, even though you’re not blood related, the thought of it still sucks you in.

Poor bastard.

Final advice:

Show your intentions for how they really are. Don’t act like you’re bro-ing it out with her, then realize that she’s the one. She might put you in the Bro Zone before you know it. And girls, trust me, you have it easier than us men, you just have to accept that fact that you have boobs. Just sayin’.

I was going to talk about the other zones, but these are the two major ones. Read it, learn to like it.

DONE.

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